Monday, 9 July 2007

YESTERDAY ONCE MORE

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Have you ever dream of turning back the clock to be with the one you ever loved once again? I have always dreamt of doing this, even more after I have visited CC’s blog recently. I was so engrossed with one of her posts that I repeatedly played the video consciously and unconsciously umpteen times. This was the first time I have blog hopped and stopped at a site for more than two hours.

My heart and limbs went soft and fragile listening to this specific song. My body felt so feather light as if I was floating above the air, flying as freely as the birds towards the horizon. But I did not feel free at all. I felt like I was still caged in and struggling desperately to get out of the trauma I had. I tried to control my tears from flooding down onto my keyboard but the memories of my first ever love which still linger in my mind was just too great. Those were indeed the sweetest days I had with her before she migrated elsewhere.

Stumbling onto my couch, my mind was suddenly filled with those sweet memories of the yesteryears. The feelings of holding on to her hand while strolling bare-footedly along the white smooth sand off Batu Ferringhi beach; caressing her tightly but warmly whenever we were together; surprising her with that soft but loving little smooches; stroking her hair now and then, made me wanting to have her sitting right here next to me now. I just could not get her off my mind, even now.

Dozens of photos flashed through my mind picturing the first day we met, the sweetness and bitterness we had gone through together until the day she had moved away with her family. I am still thinking of her, wondering how she would be now. I guessed we were destined not to accompany each other to grow old gracefully. Maybe God has his own ways of separating what was then the perfect match, the perfect soul mate. Although I still have grudges over His cruel decision, but I have to accept the fact that we were never meant for each other as reality.

It hurts deeply not knowing where she is, what she is doing and how she is now. It has been years since I got news from her. Had the love we shared before slowly vanished into thin air? How I wished I could just have a chance to turn back the clock to see her ever beautiful radiance smile once again. Dear…no matter how far you are, I will never erase that valuable part of you ever from my memory. Love you no matter where you are wholeheartedly. Take care!

12 comments:

waichee said...

that is indeed a very nice song ya..

sorry to hear that your heart is missing someone so badly now..i have never loved anyone that much so not sure how to advice you..let's just say,if we have the best memories of the other person,no matter where that person is,is does not really matter...coz the best memories are in your heart..
if God has already plan for you 2 meet again,you will...

take care...:)

Sae Wei said...

Criz dear... you are such a nice guy.. I'm sure you'll find another one soon..

But memories remain as memories k.. Time to MOVE On.... MUACKS

freddie said...

wow wow wow, this is my very first time in your blog and this one did heat my heart! Thanks for sharing such important feelings and hope you'll find another love as strong as the first one but an everlasting one.
God bless you
Ciao from Rome
freddie

papajoneh said...

wow... the song really really ... reminds me back to the old days. I do not want to remember her again.. coz it will hurt me again. Let bygone be bygone. I am happy now.
Criz, you're such good man and I am sure you will find another one if not better, be the same like her as before. "You walk like a man", my friend. that's Bon Jovi. On the other hand, anything as wonderful as you described, deserved to be remembered again :)

Adelene said...

it's hard to let go hmmm? Haha :)

smile for tomorrow is a better day.
hehehe.

cc said...

Thanks for sharing your story. It's truly beautiful and it touches me deeply. Sorry to bring back your painful memories. Take care! :)

Jessica said...

Criz, sometimes fate is a cruel and envious woman. She can take or give. Love is never a simple thing. it's never really over. but we do have to get on with life. Besides, memories are meant to be cherished and kept.

Tomorrow is another day which brings around more new memories to cherish. So cry your heart out today and live another day as you see fit.

As my friend would say to me everyday "Life is beautiful".

Aaron Chua said...

Man, I don't really know what to say Everyone has got their own stories to tell, I myself have a few stories, too. So appreciate what you have now is kinda, well, the only thing you can do. You get me? -___-

That song damn nice wei~ I used to listen to this when I was still a kid.

Ji Yuan said...

I know how it feels when you listen to a song and you just melt into your memories...

conan_cat said...

ahh, carpenters and yesterday once more, a forever classic... i can feel the pain and longing as i listen to this song and read your post, touched my heart too...

if yesterday can be once more, i guess it'll be beautiful and you can do everything that you never did before... but sadly, we can only live in the present and listen to yesterday once more...

not to make you more sad, but just my three cents. :) nostalgia never cease to make me red eyed...

Vedis Teh said...

Wa...my favourite song lah...;D

What I am going to say is quite cruel,but you will thank me 10 years later.

You know, sometimes we should think like this: Adversity brings growth and opportunity.

Somehow you will get a better one. Like me, I admired a man long time ago before I met my hubby. I thought he was the best man.He chose another girl and I was broken-hearted.
If not because he had chosen that girl, I wouldn't have gotten my hubby.A much much better man...hahah..

Bell said...

Sometimes your heart aches for the past... but as Saewei said, let memories remain as memories. You're certainly lucky that your memories of past loves are bittersweet and longing... I have no such fond memories. Though I do get a little nostalgic from time to time. :P

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