Friday, 30 November 2007



Everyone wants happiness in life. All they want to do is to get rid of the sorrow and sadness and to stay happily ever after. Sounds like a fairy tale story right? If happiness is so wonderful, why is it so hard to achieve? The problem lies in your decision to put every events in your life in your own hand and wanting to control every movements you are about to execute.

Life is a complicated issue and is never predictable. It sways and drifts aimlessly whenever you try to control or master it. Just imagine you are the captain of your soul and your destiny lies within the grip of your hands. There are thunderstorm, lightning, typhoons, whirl pool, etc which defies your endless attempts to reach your destination.
How are you going to master something that is beyond your control? In fact, you will end up with more absurdity and sorrow than when you started controlling your life.

Let us study on an upbringing. Do you belong to the category of modern parents who make your children understand the cause and effect of a wrongdoing or are you one whom controls the lives of your children by commanding and caning? It is believed that parents who control the lives of their children will end up losing them as they reach adulthood as outsiders treat them as who they are and not what their parents want them to be.

How true this is as many of us, even adults in their mid years, are really frustrated with the lack of communication with our parents. I am sure you had experience the time when you tried to explain something or wanting to be heard by your parents and you were shot down before you could even blink your eyes. It was always the one-way communication when parents tried to impose the entire moral and personal values they deemed proper onto their children. Subsequently, children rebel with the attitude of “You do not want me to do this and I purposely do it to hurt you” and parents react drastically. There will be no ending of squabbling and quietness in your life.

Is that the kind of happiness you try to generate by imposing your will onto others as well as yourself? As I said earlier, life is a complicated issue. You may be in control your own life but other’s life is not within your jurisdiction. The need to lend the ears and to have a two-way communication is ideal for a better relationship with your children. It is said “Happiness starts within your home”, and the home is your family. Think about it!

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"When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people."
~~ Abraham Joshua Heschel

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