Wednesday, 1 August 2007


Criz’s Sanctuary

What do you look for in a relationship after marrying your soul mate for many years? Those romantic years of courtships would have long been transferred into your memories. Those steady nature and warm feeling leaning against each other is no longer a norm in your life. Laughter no longer existed as your daily medication. You felt insecure in the relationship. You are beginning to grow tired of the relationship and turned restless at his/her every action. You get easily agitated and lose your temper at any small matters that may arise.

You may be a sentimental and sensitive person when it comes to a relationship. You always yearn for those romantic moments to happen once again but will it happen? Your other half’s behavior and inability to bring romantic moments back into your relationship has often disheartened you. Sometimes, you might even have wild thought that he/she is having another affair out there ignoring you all together. You might even make up your mind to ask for a separation or a divorce. Is this drastic decision a good move to get yourself out from the boredom you felt in love? Would you have the courage to say it out loud in front of him/her directly?

What will happen if you think your relationship with your partner has turned sour? Nobody will think alike and nobody can really understand what is actually in the mind of the other. Here is a typical case of a wife who thinks that her husband has no more hope for her.

“I want to break up with you!” shouted the wife to her husband. The husband was shocked and asked “Why?” while holding on the newspaper he was reading half way. “I am tired of you, tired of being ignored, tired of whatever that happened in this house!” said the wife. The confused husband looked at her, shaking his head silently and continued reading his newspaper. You can see him looking into the same section of the news, deeply in thoughts of what has just happened. In the wife’s mind, “How could I have faith on such a person who could not even express himself in time of my needs? He is totally hopeless. He does not deserve to have me anymore!” After a few moments, the husband replied “What is it that you want?”

Wanting to test her husband further, the wife continues, “If I want you to go to the Amazon Jungle to get me the most beautiful flower on earth to make me change my mind, would you still do it for me? Do not forget, the jungle is filled with fierce wild animals, alligators, poisonous snakes, deadly insects and one wrong move and you will be killed.” The wife’s heart sank when she heard him saying, “I will let you know first thing in the morning.”

When she woke up the next morning, he was not in the house. She got panicked searching high and low for him. Wild thoughts swept in her mind, thinking that her husband really went to the jungle to face death when she saw a letter on the table. With trembling hands, she quickly opened the letter. In the letter, it was written:

Dearest Sweetheart,

I would not pick that flower for you, as I might not come back alive when you needed me most. Sometimes, things are taken for granted without us realizing about them consciously. I am not blaming you for making that statement as there is always doubt in any relationships. It is up to us to hold on to what we believe in and have faith in each other.

Do you think I would want to risk my fingers? Who would help you to massage your neck when you are tired from a hard day’s work? When you are so tired and could not run your errands, don’t you think my legs are useful to help you do the job? Why would I risk my palms when I could help you to apply some menthol lotion on your cramped stomach when you have your monthly PMS?

I would not want to loose my eyes too as who would see through the eye of the camera to shot your ever beautiful photos? Who would help you to cut your nails when we grow old and have failing eye sights? Who would take you strolling by the beach to watch the beautiful sunrise or sunset? Unless you could find somebody who could appreciate and love you as much as I do, I am not willing to risk my life to pick the flower for you as yet.

By the way, I have gone out to buy you the breakfast that you have been yearning for so long. When you have finished reading this letter, I guessed I will be back at the door waiting to see that beautiful smiling face of yours once again.

Love you always dear!


Tears began to flow down her cheek as she rushed over the front door with excitement. Upon opening the door, she saw her husband with one hand holding on to a red rose while the other with her favourite breakfast. She hugged him and gave him a long passionate kiss, ignoring the red rose in his hand.

After all, flowers and romantic moments only appear on the surface of a relationship. What lies under those is the pillar of love. That is true love. When one is surrounded by love all the time, the feeling of excitement fades away subconsciously. We tend to be blinded by the peacefulness and boredom that lie within that true love.

So, are you happy with your marriage? Do you think you still have doubt about your relationship? Would you still make up your mind and make a strong stand on your decision after reading the above incident? It does happen rather frequent in our lives, not only in the husband-wife relationships but also in our relationships with those people close to us. Share the love now as it is still not too late to show that love to your loved ones today.


papajoneh said...

Alamak... I love this post so much. It means a lot to me. Definitely bookmark for future reference. :)

Oh yes, I am happy with my marriage, with my wife and now with babies coming, I even happier than before. This thing did happened to me... well not the go to jungle get the wild flower thing, but the affair thing. She so worried, she checked my email and mobile phone. I am ok one coz i never cheated her anyway.. but i guess sometimes i did ignored her.. this deserve another posting just to explain all of this ...
but what i wanna say, just believe in the relationship, the love you used to have, the why you fell in love in the 1st place. This can help. But do remember, to put the romance back by surprising her with flowers(flowers do help u know even though they say no..LOL ) or some romantic gesture. I did this at times where she never thought I would do it. Like big boquet of flower not on her b'day. Sure help one, sure got big wet kisses from her. hahahhaha.
Well Criz, i think i have to stop here... simply awesome posting here, and yes, till death do us part, and she insisted she died earlier than me.. so she won't suffer she said. How wonderful my wife is. So so touchy when she said that. Bah better stop now. Criz you the man again.

pikey said...

this is really sweet.....

Annabel said...

It's sweet and very meaningful. I have to say I've only been married 2 yrs so I haven't had those problems yet. Most of our problems were left behind or solved during our 5 yrs of dating. I'd like to think I'm in a fairly stable and understanding marriage and I keep myself occupied so that when hubby neglects me I'm not too fussed. But how long will that last I wonder? what's most important I think is that when the passion wears off you'll still want to stay together... to stay because you care for each other and want to be there for each other and not because you're afraid of change. When 2 people stay together for the sake of being together, there's no love there. Every relationship has ups and downs, and the key to long lasting love is understanding that it's not going to be perfect all the time, that shadows will fall across the sun sometimes.

gosh! I'm just blabbering now! sorry!`Great Post Criz!

lollipop said...

great post =) love it..

The New Parent said...

Hi Criz---really interesting post. BTW--thank you for visiting my blog.

I think there is marriage without children and marriage with children---the focus is different.
Both can be wonderful. Both take time and real effort to truly prosper. Both can be a true example of an aspect of love.

Thank you for sharing, Criz.

AnDuLu said...

very the gam dung

JJzai said...

so romantic story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanna read more!!!!!!!!!!!!
touching arrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

Sae Wei said...

oh dear... this one really touched the deepest point of my heart ler... Aiseh... almost cried in the office ady :')

The wife is lucky that she realized how much her hubby loves her before it's too late. Others are not that lucky though.

I'm so going to use this post to remind myself not to complain so much when my future hubby is not as romantic as i want him to be.. heehee

Thanks CRIZ!!!! Meow~~~~

eugene said...

love this post a lot...

true love :)

aL said...

very well said =)

but most of the time, we dont know its there til its gone *sniff*

=chuanguan= said... it ur original work.ur blog is freaking nice...haha..keep it up..u might be a famous blogger..just keepur blog catchy to attact ppl to read

conan_cat said...

oh my, the sap! the sap!! the sweetness of that! i'm going to be diabetic!!

but it is true tho, once you're in a relationship for some time the excitement seems to go away, and you will start to think pretty much negative things about you and your partner... i guess patience, love and trust are the ultimate recipe for a long lasting relationship. :) suprises works, a lot... :D

Aaron Chua said...

Whoa! Very nice post! I'm totally, utterly speechless. I mean, I wouldn't have wrote a letter like that man! XD

CRIZ LAI said...

papajoneh: checking. Sounds so familiar. Well, that should be the initial stage of a marriage when the trust is still not strengthen yet. But I guessed everything should be fine by now. It just need time to accept who the other is in a marriage.

pikey; glad you love it :)

annabel: You are right about perfect marriage. No one is perfect and we have to accept that. In a marriage, the give and take is the most important. After all, it takes two hands to make a war. If one person has the toleration to avoid the spark of an argument, marriage will last as long as they can.

Lollipop: Thanks for dropping by. Hope to see you more.

the new parent: thanks for dropping by too. You site gives real good parenting tips.

andulu: gam dung? I understand this word in Cantonese but check up the meaning for the english word.. haha

jjzai: cool...happy to know you also can be touched by this article :)

saewei: purrr...haha. Well, it's not too late to learn the real meaning of life. If only one can sit down and analyze ourself deeply, love is always in the air :)

eugene: thanks for that compliment :)

aL: Well, there's always the alternative. Learn from our mistakes and never let it happen again.

chuanguan: haha...what famous blogger? I am just a simple down to earth person who understand and enjoy life as it is. Glad to see you so often here :)

conancat: wow.. another romantic guy here who understand the meaning of love. All the best dude! :)

aaron: sometimes you just do not know what you are writing as it does not come through your head. It just came out from your heart. Do not ask me how to explain that as you need to feel it yourself in order to express it.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, this is one hell of a post. Lots of lesson we've learned today.

sc_Bone said...


yushi said...

nice post u have over here! guess u must read a lot hehe!

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