Friday, 8 June 2007


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continues from previous post

When you are at this point, there really was no other way out but to die. But most do not know that you can die without physically killing yourself. The answer is to be willing to give it all up. All your thoughts, wants, dreams, failures, hates, cares, fears, the past, the future, and all painful relationships, you have to let everything go. There is only one thing you can hang on to now through this tough moment ... FAITH. If you can do this, I promise you will end up dying to yourself and find total freedom and sanctuary. But, there is no way you can do this on your own, you have to have others help you, but the choice is yours. You can believe the lie that killing yourself is the answer, but you can have alternatives, which are FAITH and FRIENDSHIP. A few good and close friends will help you become sober and forgo your plan for the worst. If you try to go on and push through life out of your own strength, you will continue to fail and go deeper and deeper into despair.

Sometimes it's hard to admit that we need other people. Sometimes depression and suicidal thoughts contain a component of upset and anger towards the world and the people in it. But the truth is, nothing can really substitute for human contact. We do need people. The truth is, just talking to someone, explaining, sharing, venting, being listened to, can often give us a temporary reprieve. Talking to someone can temporarily change your perspective in life. Human contact changes the brain chemistry and opens that emotion "pod" of pent up emotions for temporary relief. It may not be what they say, but just the exchange of emotions like empathy, compassion and concern.

Let someone know your pain
For a few moments, let someone help carry your pain
Someone who is there because they care enough to help a stranger in need
Because they know, or they have seen
From someone they know, or somewhere they have been
That your life may be in danger and there is nothing they can say
To really make that pain go away
But they are there for you even so
Because somehow they know
That somehow, some way
They can help you find the strength to live another day

You must begin to take responsibility for the "bad fruit" in your life. You need to 'own' the fact that you have created the bad fruit in your life, one of the first steps needed to begin the journey of freedom from depression. How can you expect the outcome to change doing the same thing over and over again, without you yourself changing anything? It is common to not take any sort of action, yet continue to hop that some day the situation will change. It is common to become passive, and then the situation can eventually become hopeless. You are at whatever particular place in your life you are at due to your choices of attitude and actions that you have previously made. Some situations may appear to have been someone else's choice for you, but you need to not play the 'victim' role. Once you begin to grasp this principle, you will be strengthened and can begin to make the necessary changes in your daily life. Have FAITH and start to make the right choices in your life with all situations. You can choose to be a victim or victorious, powerless or powerful, each day. Life is about choices. We need to make the choice to forgive. Treat your inner or physical enemy with RESPECT and LOVE. When you have the willpower to do this, you will be well on your journey toward freedom, peace, and contentment.

To all of you out there who feel that it is too difficult to break up because of fear of CHANGE, fear of what would happen to your mate if you did break up, fear of never finding another again. I have one word of advice: simplistic as it may sound, your HAPPINESS is all that matters. If you think you are fit to pursue further into the relationship, go ahead. Be positive in your actions and have some self confidence. Luckily, you are not “married” legally which DOES complicate things a lot more, and that is why THINKING is ALWAYS required. While it is noble and all to work at a relationship you think still has a future, there is such a thing as working TOO HARD for it, so much so that it becomes JUST WORK. Of course, the trick is in knowing when to draw the line. For me, if you cannot remember the last you laughed together, your time is probably up.

To all those who are contemplating suicide: Think rationally before you act. God gave us a life to cherish and to contribute towards human race. It is a matter of time before people forgets what would have been history. Try to be in a peaceful state of mind to plan and to set your life back onto the right track. I have been through this rough time many times and I realized that life is a gamble. Whatever lies ahead is up to us to decide. We are our own decision maker.

A big “Thank You” to those who have in one way or another help me pull through this bad times. You will be remembered forever for your undying support and encouragement.


kayatan said...

If you give yrself time, times heal !

CRIZ LAI said...

kayatan: it did heal or else I would not be here. It happened 3 years ago and I got through it. I am happy to live again :)

papajoneh said...

Criz the post hit me like a hammer on the nail onto the wall. You reminded of something. I'm glad you ok now and im really glad i know. Death is not the way to solve any problem.. friend is. I dedicate a post for you and for all friends. Criz, u inspire me a lot and your bad experience is now a cure to others. I hope no one will not follow the quickest remedy to any problem. I hope, they think first and let bygone be bygone. :)

kayatan said...

Criz, I am glad it is passed.

I believed all of us learned and live. Life itself is a big lesson. We wish it comes with an instruction, don't we ?

I did go through some hops as well in my life...

My ex-boss said if I had not, I probably would not appreciate what I have now.

Cheers !!!!!!!!!

Sweetpea said...

looks like you had one big turn-around, for the better no doubt. way to go!

no one likes to comtemplate suicide unless it's the drastic and last measure. for me, suicide needs courage. and by that i do not mean i am encouraging anyone!
then again, why not use that courage to fight suicide? instead of getting one dead-end answer, be courageous to find out what is beyond that...

*here's to life*

azmeen said...

With all this talk about sanctuaries... did you notice that you've misspelled Sanctuary as Santuary in your blog's header image?

Anggie's journel said...

Firstime i was reading a male blog.. Interesting blog u have , so many nice post and haven finished reading it... will come back and visit ur blog again.

- Surround urself with what u love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is ur refuge.-

CRIZ LAI said...

papajoneh: It's good to share solutions to life's problems wit others. That's what I always do. Thanks for the mention in your post :)

kayatan:'s PAST. I am not going back to where I started either. This is the 2nd chance and I ought to appreciate it more.

Sweetpea: Good! You got my message very clearly :)

Azmeen: Thanks for highlighting. I have changed it. The funny thing is why no one ever noticed that major error since i put it up on 30th May? Haha...Thanks for visiting too :)

anggie's journal: Welcome to my humble home. Glad to hear that you like it very much. You are always welcome here :)

Ken said...

You need to think positively, Criz. I always think that gf/bf is a kind of illusion of life.

No matter how many time you fall in love and broke, you will remain you. Her will remain her.

No matter how she hurt you, she is just a secondary thing in this world apart from your sex emotion.

Love is relative toward opposite sex, except toward our mother or father.

Their love are the most genuine and pure. Other are secondary which will not give you any "money guarantee back" or "love guarantee back" to you.

In Buddha ways, Fall in love is a karmic effect of past life. You Fall in love or broke with her it's all because of something happen in your "pass life" and you have to finish what you need to finish!

I really believe in the cause and effect karmic issues. It make me thing more positively each of my day because I know that every "effect" have its "cause".

Think universally, Don't kill yourself just because of you have broken heart. Many-and-too-many people still struggling their best to stay alive.

Good Luck Pal...

Bee said...

When I read this I think of my Malaysian friend who lives here and have a very sad life. She's very young but get very depressive, judging from her messages on her msn. I don't know how to help her bcos we both are very different. All I have done was to give her some Malaysian foods to cheer her up, but that didn't last long.

CRIZ LAI said...

ken xu: haha...if i killed myself I won't be here. I only killed the bad side of me. Now I'm very happy :)

bee ean: maybe get her to contact me. I can help out by sharing with her my experiences :)

janicepa said...

good..i just wan to see that you are happy ...

Life is not about being sad and miserable.. you shud be glad that you are still breathing...

Yes yes.. we are our decision maker.. !!

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