Wednesday, 2 May 2007

NATIONAL EXCUSES OF MALAYSIANS TODAY

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NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR GAINING WEIGHT: McDonald’s

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR LOSING WEIGHT: Pokai (Broke). No money eat.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS: Maggi Mee.

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE: Traffic Jam.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN): Food Poisoning.

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN): Menstrual Pain

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR FARTING: Eat too many durians.

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints, they start swearing at everything.

NATIONAL CONDOM: None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed about buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-ELEVEN, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, air-condition not cold enough, air-condition too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no water supply, depress, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES: Panadol - the sure "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): Happy Hours.

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES): The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere but in your house compound or surroundings.

NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Braless Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a braless Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF TRAFFIC JAMS: Another accident site. Malaysians are rather “kaypo” about everything.

7 comments:

dJcarmen said...

kor...

the excuse for sex for women..TRUE lo =P~ hahahha. n for men...basically true also =P~ hehehehe

CRIZ LAI said...

Sis,

Of course true la..or else why i post such things if it's not facts through my survey..lol

dJcarmen said...

hahaha...true also!! LOL

pikey said...

the NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK should be kopi tongkat ali la.... lolz

CRIZ LAI said...

yea..pikey...should i alter that now?? lol

zewt said...

hahahaha... rushing into a 7-11 to grab condoms... that's so damn true.

CRIZ LAI said...

Zewt: Don't tell me you are also one of those paiseh customers ar?? LOL

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