Monday, 26 November 2007

SIMPLIFY ENGLISH?

SIMPLEENGLISH

It was discussed during the early stage that English will be replacing German as the official language of the European Union (EU). As part of the implementation, English will have to undergo a 5-years phase of evolution into EuroEnglish. Certain spellings will have to be improved to suit everyone.

1ST YEAR: “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants happy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favor of “k”. This should klear up konfusion and the keyboard kan have one less letter.

2ND YEAR: There will be a growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year. ”ph” will now be replased with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.

3RD YEAR: Publik akseptanse of the new speling kan b expekted to reach the stag wher mor komplikated shanges are posible. Governement wil encourag the removal of doubl leters, whish hav ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of sertain silent “e” at the end of a word should b removd.

4TH YEAR: Peopl wil b reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” wiz “z”, “w” wiz “v” and “y”wif “i”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan b dropd from vords containing “ou”. And similar shanges vuld of kors b aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

5TH YEAR: After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reali sensibl writen stil. Zer vil b no mor trobls or difikulties and everion vil find it eazi to understand each ozer.

Zis dream vil finali kom tru. Lik it? Zis English sur roks! Wait! I fel zat I hav ben using zis English in IM all ze tim. Zey hav implementd it so fast?

1 comment:

Bell said...

Haha!! Cool Joke! We all end up talking like the Germans!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin