Thursday, 19 July 2007


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It is said that your best friend could be your worst enemy. How true is this statement? I would not know as it did not affect me as yet. Friendship is said to last forever. Again how true is this statement? Friendship is very important to us as it contributes to our process of growing up. It becomes part of our lives. It could sometimes flow into our personal lives, into our job careers, into our own circle of friends or even into our own families. To end a friendship means having many aspects to consider deeply before throwing out the axe as it also involved your whole social circle of friends. I will tell you, it is really complicated.

There are many types of friendships in our lives. Some are our cyber friends, true friends, love partners or those we mixed around for social functions. Many of those are temporary friends from our business contacts, colleges, universities or even workplaces. How long can all these friendships last without having a little bit of frictions happening in between? Only we will have the answers to that. To be a friend or a foe depends on our own views and discretion. How right are we at times?

Friendships usually go sour when one party feels that the other has somehow stepped over his or her imaginary line and accused him or her wrongly. This has become quite a norm in our present society. In fact, it has become part of our social illness. The lives of both parties involved usually end up in ruins, so will those people surrounding them. Before situations like this worsen, we should take a step further to find some ways to undo any disputes that may arise.

Friendships should never be jeopardized. Think of the consequences before you decide to make an enemy out of your friends. Is it worth it? Would your life be happier if you ever did that? What would you gain by your actions? You may likely to turn yourself into an outcast and lots of people may be dragged into your own problems. No one except you will end up in more trouble, stress, and sleepless nights.

Good friends who have been insulted or accused wrongly could become your worst nightmare. Not only do they know all your ins and outs well, they also have huge influences over your circle of friends. That means you are in deep trouble! By the time you realized it, it might be too late as it is no longer a one to one battle but many to one war. I for sure would not want to be caught in this situation at any time.

Thinking analytically and searching inside my soul, understanding deeper into the roots of any problems has always been my life philosophy. To me, there is always a solution to any problem. The solution lies in our own hands and it is up to us to decide our fate for the future. I have seen my share of this type of relationships in my life journey. Some were forced to relocate and change new jobs to be out from the madness they have created or being in it. Some indeed went for the worst choice by contemplating suicide. Is it worth it?

I always like to stress on the point that no one is perfect unless he is God Himself. We, as humans are walking time bombs. We easily get irritated with a simple remark when our moods are down. Slip of tongues, different opinions, delays, assuming love relationships, childishness, are some of the minor problems that ended up in big disputes. A simple sincere apology is all it takes to wipe out any issues. How many of us have the right state of mind to realize that at that precise moment? Suppressing anger has never the daily dosage of most people. Eventually, anger amplifies hate. Hate amplifies temper. Temper amplifies physical abuse. When will this stop if someone would not take the initiative to put a stop to this?

Time will heal as most people would say. As time passes by, anger will subside and solutions will be less complicated. But most of the time, problems are left to rot by themselves without being settled at all. Grudges still stay within the hearts of those being hurt. Find the time, find the courage, find that first step forward to sit down and have some mutual understanding between yourselves. Work things out and have a general consensus and eradicate the problem once and for all. After all, having a former friend to be your lifetime foe is not what most people can cope with.

Break not the friendship of a friend in vain
As the friendship can never remain the same
Friendship once broken is like a bowl
Will never remain as a whole
No matter how many times you review
Mended parts will still remain in view


benjipapa said...

Hmmmmm u reli can write la Criz... are u working with any mag or paper ar?? hehe..u can do some column there lo.. its true for wat u've said...

how many ppl r willing to remain the frenship when they r hurt??? Guess not everyone is strong enuf to believe in Frens forever....

Sae Wei said...

i dunno what to comment. i almost cried after reading it. nah.... trying to be dramatic there. Let me tell you a story, this happened just recently to my two brothers (online)

Both were really good friends before this and A is the one who convinced B into blogging. After that all three of us met in an online community and became best of friends. And because this community is run by someone famous (you know who) so it's pretty normal when it became quite political. And now A & B had became enemy because A had been spreading lies to other members about B. About him organizing another community to go against this current community, which is untrue. And I'm stuck in the middle.

So all this craps make me wonder why would a good friend do this to his good friend? Someone he needs to meet everyday as they are working at the same office. Why?

Des said...


a very meaningful poem indeed!

nice one dude!

MonkeyWong said...

I invite you to ride on the technorati train! :P

Azmeen said...

"It is said that your best friend could be your worst enemy."

It's not "could" but:

"Your best friend is your worst enemy"

The logic is simple;
best friend: good buddies
worst friend: useless friend
best enemy: Almost total opposite of what you stand for
worse enemy: Hard to define as enemy; too friendly!

Thus you best friend IS your worst enemy :)

At least that's how I see it.

Anyway, insightful writeup; really Criz Lai style :)

Ji Yuan said...


Life is like a box of chocolates,you never know what you gonna get
-Forrest Gump

Eugene said...

hey bro,

i like this post a lot. really.
friends are everywhere but true friends is hard to find.
treasure treasure treasure...

for what lost will be hard to gain back...

thanks. this is a one good post of yours.

CRIZ LAI said...

BenjiPapa: Yea..not many people have the courage of maintaining a friendship as once bitten twice shy.

Sae Wei: Different people thinks differently. If everyone has the same thinking, the world would be a better place to be in.

Des: Thanks for the compliment.

Monkey Wong: Thanks too

Azmeen: Thanks Azmeen for taking some of your precious time off to be here commenting. Well, I still like the way I said it "could be" and not "is". Not all are as bad as that yet. Haha :)

JiYuan: Sounds like you have been hurt badly before. Stay takes time to heal the wound. Take care :)

Eugene: Thank you or the comments. Indeed true friends are hard to find. Even when you have found them, some will still play behind your back without your knowledge. Try to be yourself and to forgive and forget when disputes happen. Isn't that the best for all?

Jonzz said...

Hi, I visited your post once already through the Photo Hunter: Tiny post. I must say this particular post of yours is very meaningful and impressive.

papajoneh said...

Always the last one. I guess i want the full attention from you. :D

I actually have no idea what to comment. I know one thing, I do not want my best friend become my enemy. I just want my friend back. No enemy please.
It's already enough enemies out there, please don't take my friends as well. I just know, Criz is my friend and I'm sure we will stay friends forever.
Suddenly, Penang is not far from Sabah :)

CRIZ LAI said...

jonzz: thanks for the compliment. are from N9. Join us in ShoutOut.

papajoneh: we will :)

Bell said...

you know what they say.... Keep Your Friends Close and Keep Your Enemies Closer! Haha! I don't live by that philosophy by the way.

It's all part of life... we've all had out fair share of fallouts and broken or repaired friendships.

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